I may not know what I do not know; yet know there are things I do not know.
That gives me direction to seek improvement over who I was yesterday.
Sticks ‘N Stones
5 / 15/ 2017
Saying mean, hurtful, nasty, derogatory things to people is like being poked in the shoulder softly.
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Once. No pain.
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Twice. No pain.
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Thrice. No pain.
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Upon 20 or more times in a relatively short span such may become annoying. No pain still, just an annoyance.
However, refusals to hear the dissatisfaction of such results in frustration evolving out of annoyance. Annoyance already alters the abilities of the individual to maximize his abilities to think critically and clearly. Frustration is only a worse condition of this impairment.
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Still at 100 pokes in the shoulder there is likely no pain. But at 10,000 pokes and 7 days later there is physical pain. There is also mental agony. Now the agony has severely crippled the cognitive abilities of the individual subjected to the poking.
This is only amplified by the pain now noticeable from the incessant poking. Yet the people poking the individual do not believe they are doing enough harm to cause any pain. They conclude it is okay to dismiss the cries from the individual to stop poking them. Often times the justification to dismiss the pleas for mercy are built upon shallow comprehension and lack of ability to recognize a large picture of events transpiring.
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What the dismissing individuals do not realize is that so many other people are also poking the same individual. They have created a culture of poking people. They have created a culture where they try to be tough because being poked a couple of times isn't supposed to hurt. Poking is often done in innocent manners out of joking around and friendly, play touch.
A few words are not supposed to hurt. So people ignore the potential pain presented to them as an actual problem. “I only called you a sissy once. Man up and stop being a cry baby,” they might say.
People press through. People refuse to open up to others exposing parts of themselves to be poked and prodded with derogatory words and sentiments. People begin to close themselves off to others. And now there is a culture of fake necessities and hollow sentiment of well wishes. People are nice to others out of habit of avoiding making true connections which are actually meaningful.
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Then some people evade the poking and poke others so hard that it seems that their victims are not able to poke them back sufficiently, so they don't even try. But trying to poke back is not the purpose.
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Self defense of an eye for an eye mentality is only encouraging and enabling such things. What needs to happen is the halting of the poking. Stop using hostile, combative, and other language which dictates something that is actually subjective or an opinion as being right or wrong. Unless the criteria is presented along with the judgment of what is right or wrong, then there is no need to point out what is right or wrong. Superiority is not needed in so many of these cases. Superiority is actually the problem.
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That one individual who broke down from being ridiculed so harshly by seemingly one interaction of being poked by a single individual needs to be recognized. No the harshness from the ridicule wasn't because every single statement made to them was unbearably harsh. It is because all that was stated to them was negative criticism.
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Few offered constructive criticism. Fewer offered positive reinforcement about what is desired. But none recognized that everyone was giving such criticism. So in the world of psychology the individual is essentially being conditioned to a degree to expect punishment and pain for merely existing.
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The idea is that so many people fail to recognize that others before them poked and criticized their target too. So their target seemed unnecessarily weak. The failure wasn't on the shoulders of the ridiculed individual. We can only tolerate so much before we reach our breaking points. And then when we do, we as the targets of ridicule are the menace and the blight upon society.
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The failure is on the shoulders of those whom judged instead of observed before they interact. This is how society creates the monsters which destroy and escalate the horrors it demands do not exist.
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This can be seen in so many different aspects of Human culture and societies. In the various liberty movements people often demand they have a right to relayed combative and hostile words towards others out of self defense.
But what is the moment of self defense? Do the targets of the proclaimed just ridicule understand they are acting aggressively all the time? If they do then why aren’t the combative words working to convert more people quickly?
What about the kind of logic being offered to convert these people from statism to voluntaryism or whatever flavored ideology is desired by the invocator of verbally combative self defense? Is that logic clear with an easily identified path of though progression from one idea to the next? (Such as understanding 1+1=2 there for 2+2 can equal 4?)
Likely not, in most situations. I argue this is the case so often because the amount of time, intellect, and labor required to create this platform to showcase in the event of an interaction requiring it is monumental in comparison to simply pointing out the work another has done. And then in the heat of the moment, why would another want to come back to that exchange if the other demanding the reading of specific material was coming across as mean or unnecessarily aggressive?
There are all kinds of reasons why people will retaliate against this position. Truth of the matter is that a large majority of people still think in terms of everything being either ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. And the sharpest edge of this truth is that people cannot be taught. They can only be shown the information. They must learn it on their own by someone willing to make the time to help them.
How quickly they learn is dependent upon many things. The comprehension and desire of another to understand what the learner needs as well as the desire of the learner to seek greater clarity are just two of the greatest requirements.
But at the end of the day, words have meaning. Nonviolent communication techniques can only take us so far. A mind can understand that the meanings of words are dependent upon the context in which they are employed. So a hundred thousand uses of a derogatory word with multiple meanings and used with each one of the more combative and derogatory meanings to an individual can cause great suffering to that individual.
It is through compassion and care of how our choices affect others which make the world we live in a better or worse place for those around us. The responsibility to be compassionate is not exclusive to the individual whom is wiser alone.
The fool has just as much responsibility to be compassionate to others as a way to be compassionate to himself as a return on investment concerning his reputation as does a wise man being compassionate to others as a return on investment to refining his skills to be a teacher through actions and later even clearly laid out ideas for others to study.
-JLD
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